August 31st: I woke up at about 6AM, got dressed, and closed my suitcase. My suitcase was so heavy, I couldn’t even pick it up. My God-sis and I literally struggled to get it down the stairs and into the backseat of my car. I said my goodbyes and I left. I drove to my bestfriend, Sherrie’s house, because she was my designated driver to the airport and I was giving her my car. So, our drive to the airport was cool, I just gave her the last run-down about my car. We arrive at the airport, she takes my suitcase out the car…we hug, and then we just start crying. I really didn’t want to let her go, because up until this point, she was the last part of my comfort zone I had. We finally let go, I watched her drive away and then I was by myself. Life got real.
Being totally transparent, I was not going to New York balling. I had bills to pay before I left, which left me with a little bit of money. So, now I’m conscious of every dollar I have to spend. The first test happened before I got on the plane. So, I put my suit case on the scale, and of course, it’s 24lbs over the Southwest limit, so that’s $75 gone. Instantly, I’m pissed about that, but I remind myself that this is a faith journey, and God is my source, not money. I carry on through the airport to get myself some breakfast. After about an hour, I board the plane. Usually, my favorite part of the plane ride is the lift off. It’s just fun to me, but this time it wasn’t as fun. As soon as the plane took off, I started crying like a baby. It was no turning back now. I think I cried myself to sleep on the plane, and when I woke up, I was in New Jersey.
As soon I woke up, I had a totally different feeling. I was excited. After being stuck on the plane for an extra hour post landing, I was finally here forreal. My cousin, who is my roomie, picked me up in this cute little Mustang and we went house shopping. Even though I’m excited to finally be here, money is on my mind. I need to survive. It’s so crazy, because, before I got to NJ, I had a dope writing opportunity on the table, and it fell through. I still can’t tell you what happened.
September: I used this month to set things up. All I did was send emails and apply for jobs. Even though I have a residual income, it’s sporadic and doesn’t come as often as I would like (still waiting on a royalty check as I type this). I guess that’s the beginning stages of entrepreneurship. This was a month full of tests. The whole purpose of me relocating was to step out on faith, but of course faith means trusting things I cannot see. With limited funds, and ambition through the roof, my patience was getting the best of me. I’m still learning patience. God really showed me that he will provide for me, and he truly has. Within my 2nd week of being here, my cousin lost her job. It literally came out of nowhere. So, part of me is thinking I just got here, and now I have to go back home. Or, I’m going to be homeless in NY/NJ. So, I immediately went into prayer mode. I would not stop praying. I‘m like God, this can’t be life. You would not move me out here, just so I can go back home with nothing. For about two weeks, it was tense around here. But, as usual, God steps in right on time. Me and my cousin both got jobs on the same day, and let’s just say he made it rain on my cousin. So, we go from being stressed to celebrating in a matter of two weeks. Mind you, in the midst of all this, I’m meeting different people, and trying to jump on as many opportunities as possible, but it’s all a waiting game.
October- November: So, yeah, that job, I got, I still didn’t actually start work, because my contract didn’t actually start until November. Why God? The month of October, I spent a lot of time asking God, what did he want from me, and why is everything such a slow process. I need things now. Actually, like yesterday. Patience builds character. Oh, I thought my character was already together, when I decided to move out here and release a book. Wasn’t that enough? Endless conversations with God. Endless times smothering myself with every positive message I can find. Then things were put into perspective. God gives us gifts, dreams, purpose, but at the end of the day, we have to trust him with it. If God gave me the vision, why wouldn’t he give me the provision. I often get caught up in the way I think things are supposed to go (with just about everything in life). My way, or no way at all. It’s like I trust myself, more than God, and he’s my creator. God doesn’t work like that, either you trust him or you don’t. I can’t tell you how God has carried me through the entire time I have been here. God has certainly used other people to be blessings to me. I was looking at things to manifest according to how the world sees things, but that’s the total opposite of faith. It’s what I can’t see that is blowing my mind, because things have been happening unexpectedly. Like, no one could have told me that one email would lead to a professor wanting to use my book as a part of her curriculum. I sent that email, the first week in September, and it wasn’t until the end of October, when everything was solidified. No one could have told me that people would actually be inspired by my story and want to buy my book.
This journey is far from over, but I am definitely learning to grow in the midst of circumstances, and to trust the not so glamorous parts of this journey. I always look at myself like a piece of gold. Gold has to constantly be put under heat so that all the impurities (metals and alloys) are removed. Once those are removed, the value of the gold is worth a lot. I look at every experience I endure, and it just makes my writing better. It allows me to be a living example of how great things come from discomfort.
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. – James 1: 2-4